


Humilitation

by TetrodotoxinB



Series: Whumptober 2019 [25]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Bodily Functions, Day 25, Food borne pathogens, I'm sorry but it's really hard to humiliate Jack, It was this or go really dark, Jack gets the shits, Prompt: Humiliation, That man has no dignity to begin with, Whumptober 2019, and no bathroom, and there's no privacy, but he has a bucket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TetrodotoxinB/pseuds/TetrodotoxinB
Summary: It takes a lot to humiliate an ex-Delta.





	Humilitation

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by [Secret_Library98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secret_Library98/pseuds/Secret_Library98).
> 
> As the parent of four small humans, I feel qualified to say that stomach bugs are absolutely the worst.

They’re trying to sleep in the back of a cargo plane, between shrink-wrapped pallets of brand new Haynes bikini-style underwear, sewn by the lovely women Mac and Jack met in a sweatshop in Guatemala, when Jack pokes Mac in the shoulder.

“Hey.”

Mac blinks and tries to reorient himself. “Yeah, what’s up, Jack?”

“Mac, I don’t feel so good,” Jack whimpers plaintively. 

Quickly, Mac scans Jack for any new injuries. “What’s wrong?”

“You know those empanadas, Tía Celeste gave us?” 

“Yeah, you ate all of them,” Mac helpfully reminds Jack. They’d smelled amazing but Mac had hesitated to subject himself to the dreaded traveller’s diarrhea, and in his hesitation, Jack had eaten all six.

“Well, I think you might have been right and I might have been a little too excited,” Jack admits.

Immediately, Mac sits up and scans the plane. On a cargo plane, there’s no access to restroom facilities, but generally they carry a bucket for this purpose. After getting up and rummaging up by the cockpit, careful not to alert the flight staff to their presence since they aren’t exactly on the flight manifest, Mac finds the bucket and hurries back to Jack. 

“You’re probably going to need this,” Mac says.

Jack, already holding his stomach with one arm, just nods and takes the bucket. There’s not a lot of privacy available to them but Jack does his best to seclude himself behind an adjacent pallet. Thankfully, over the roar of the 767 engines Mac can’t hear the sounds of Jack’s gastrointestinal distress, though it doesn’t do much for the smell.

Awake and concerned for Jack, Mac doesn’t consider going back to sleep. Exhausted from thirty-six hours of non-stop work, he sits on the floor of the plane and counts as the minutes tick by, waiting until he reaches thirty, before going to check on Jack. 

Despite Mac’s warning that he’s coming, Jack seems not to have bothered to cover himself in any way, not that Jack’s got or done anything that Mac can’t imagine for himself. Jack’s face is pinched in a way that suggests pain, and he’s holding his abdomen with both arms.

“How’s everything, uh, going?” Mac asks hesitantly.

“Out,” Jack answers flatly. 

“Yeah, I sorta noticed. Is there anything I can do?”

Jack chuckles. “Yeah, find me some lady’s underwear in my size. I think I ruined this pair.”

Mac laughs and tries to breathe through his mouth to avoid the smell. “Based on the flight plan, which I had a peek at while I was poking around, we should land at DFW in about an hour.”

Jack waves at Mac, seemingly motioning him back, and then there’s the sound of another round of diarrhea. Mac quickly makes his way around the pallet to give Jack a little privacy, though there’s nothing dignified about this situation in the slightest. Mac distracts himself, reading the shipping label on the pallet in front of him, until the only sound he can hear is that of the engines.

“Can I come back?” Mac calls around the corner of the pallet, which he now knows contains white undershirts.

“Yeah,” Jack rasps. 

Mac does his best not to crinkle his nose as his proximity to Jack decreases, but it’s not easy. “So how do you want to handle this?”

Jack shakes his head. “I can’t fly back to LA like this. I need a hotel room.”

_”We"_ need a hotel room,” Mac corrects. There’s no way he’s going to fly home to LA, leaving Jack behind without a way to get supplies while he’s shitting his guts out in some hotel bathroom.

Jack glares weakly up at Mac. “Fine. But two hotel rooms.”

Mac nods, seeing the wisdom in that particular demand. “Yeah, alright. I’ll call Matty.”

“Have her send a truck with a shit-shed in the back. I can just ride in there,” Jack pleads.

“I don’t know if that’ll work, but I’ll see what I can do,” Mac promises.

Jack nods, and Mac makes his way back to his nook on the other side of the plane to rope Matty in on the situation and give Jack some privacy.

*****

Apparently, the flight crew has been roped in on the fact that they have some unexpected passengers, so when the loading bay doors open and Jack runs out screaming, “I am so sorry!” before darting into the waiting RV, no one is terribly startled. 

Mac follows at a more normal pace, carrying the offending bucket by the handle. “Sorry guys. I think the local food didn’t agree with him.”

Everyone backs off and one of the local forklift operators points towards a dumpster near the side of the hangar. Before disposing of the bio-waste bucket, Mac manages to get a lid on the container — using gloves — without throwing up, though he can’t claim that he didn’t gag.

Then, it’s just a matter of driving the rented RV that’s “coming out of Dalton’s paycheck” to the local Walmart for supplies — including pedialyte and clean underwear — and then to their hotel. 

As Jack’s in the bathroom, getting ready to climb into the shower, Mac hears him shout, “Hey, Mac?”

Mac gets up and moves to stand outside the bathroom door in case something is seriously wrong. “What’s up, Jack?”

“I don’t think I like empanadas anymore.”

Mac chuckles. “No, I bet not.”


End file.
